Week 52: Sight

My Mom has been incredibly blessed with the gift of sight in most all forms of art, but especially when it comes to the art of poetry. I always receive the most beautiful pieces from her. Some, from well-known greats, and others from the most obscure, off-the-wall sources. And one of my favorite things happens to be finding the beauty within obscure, off-the-wall sources :) 

Apparently, God matched us well, mother and daughter :)

This Christmas, she sent a compilation by contemporary American poet, W.S. Merwin, called, The Rain in the Trees. I happened upon one of the most stirring, lovely pieces within this collection. The poem, Sight, perfectly sums up my own compilation of these past 52 weeks of life. I have often looked at my son and wondered if God sent him to me so that I would have sight. I wonder (because I cannot recall) if I had it before he came into my life. Did I see? How could I have? Because the moment that a mere fertilized mass of cells attached itself within in my uterus was the moment that I first saw. 

And in these 52 weeks, I have seen much light. Thank you to all of you who have shone so brightly for us on this journey. May your coming 52 weeks be blessed and inspired.

Sight
-W.S. Merwin

Once
a single cell
found that it was full of light
and for the first time there was seeing

when
I was a bird
I could see where the stars had turned
and I sent out on my journey

high
in the head of a mountain goat
I could see across a valley
under the shining trees something moving

deep 
in the green sea
I saw two sides of the water
and swam between them

I 
look at you
in the first light of the morning
for as long as I can     

Week 44: With and Without Time

What's new?

Week 44 was a memorable one, for so many reasons. I was racing against the clock, trying to get my Mom's blanket finished before we flew up to Washington. This project has been in the works for a while, evolving and growing with and without time, just like my Momma always did, in my eyes. I suppose it knew all along who it would be created for, which explains why it was such a cantankerous creature and why Amma's Grandson was suddenly so angelic all week long so I could finish it :) One morning, during the finishing process, I woke up at 4:30 and turned on AMC, and low and behold, The Grapes of Wrath was on! I had never seen this movie, and I was particularly excited to watch it because that is the next book on my pile. BEAUTIFUL story and well-done movie - I highly recommend seeing it, if you have not. Henry and I got up to my parents' house the day before Halloween, and I was so excited to take him trick-or-treating for the first time with some of the cousins. These little boys were so cute :) Henry dressed up as Curious George, and I was The Man With The Yellow Hat. However, we were still playing catch-up with the timezone change, and we passed out just as the festivities were getting underway! Next year...

The best treat of all was the arrival of my newest Nephew, baby Miles, on Halloween morning. My Sister-in-Law, Whitney was blessed with what was one of the easiest birthing stories I have ever heard (17 minutes of labor). It has been such an amazing feeling, seeing each of my 3 brothers bring sweet sons into the World, but seeing my babiest brother with his new youngling was a particularly memorable moment for this big sister.  

My Mom sent this blog to me a while back created by this writer who had collected a bunch of poems related to knitting and writing. The two for me are quite a similar process. I found this beautiful poem in her collection, though she did not have the complete piece on her blog, for some reason. At first, I read this and pictured an old woman, knitting because she had to knit as much as she had to breathe. Then you realize that she is not necessarily talking about her death, but Death as a facet of time. A memorable and inspirational find, and how appropriate as we celebrate new life, to reflect upon.

The Knitter 

By, Jackie Kay

I knit to keep death away

For hame will dae me.

On a day like this the fine mist

Is a dropped stitch across the sky.

I knit to hold a good yarn

For stories bide with me

On a night like this, by the peat fire;

I like a story with a herringbone twist.

But a yarn aye slips through your fingers.

And my small heart has shrunk with years.

I couldn’t measure the gravits, the gloves, the mittens,

The jerseys, the cuffs, the hose, the caps,

The cowls, the cravats, the cardigans,

The hems and facings over the years.

Beyond the sea wall, the waves unfurl.

I knitted through the wee stitched hours.

I knitted till my eyes filled with tears,

Till the dark sky filled with colour.

Every spare moment. Time was a ball of wool.

I knitted to keep my croft; knitted to save my life.

When my man was out at sea; I knitted the fishbone.

Three to the door, three to the fire.

The more I could knit; the more we could eat.

I knitted to mend my broken heart

When the sea took my man away, and by day

I knitted to keep the memories at bay.

I knitted my borders by the light of the fire

When the full moon in the sky was a fresh ball of yarn.

I knitted to begin again: Lay on, sweerie geng.

Takkin my makkin everywhere I gang.

Een and een. Twin pins. My good head.

A whole life of casting on, casting off

Like the North sea. I watch wave after wave,

plain and purl, casting on, casting off.

I watch the ferries coming back, going away.

Time is a loop stitch. I knit to keep death away.

Week 32: Beginnings of a Thunderstorm

What's new?

Week 32 brought with it so much 2.5-year old. This boy! I have never seen such a willfull, stubborn, independent little person in my entire life. It is apparently, time for pre-school. SO much Henry newness...He now says "Bless You" when someone sneezes. He walks by himself into the post office (not in the stroller) and most other public places. He drinks water because I have convinced him "that's what big boys do." He rips child safety mechanisms off of doors. He quotes books. He washes himself. He lets me know which music he likes and wants to know who the artist is...What happened to that baby I just had?! Who is this little man-cub? :) 

One of my girlfriends has a son who is in his early 20's. She was almost in tears the other day as she told me the story about how he broke up with his serious girlfriend (who had been so serious she was in family photos) whom they had all fallen in love with. The reasons he gave his mom, my friend, were not (as a momma) ones that you want to hear from your son, the one you raised to be a stand-up guy. Mom was extremely disappointed in his decision and trying hard to be supportive of him and be the good listener that she is. The fact of the matter was that her son is not ready for a serious, grown-up relationship. Growing pains - do they ever end? :) 

Listen

One morning I awoke to a muffled song

A deep soft sound like the beginnings of a thunderstorm

My feet touched the ground as I followed the voice

It grew louder though was still unclear

I came upon a baby boy, sleeping in his bed.

Touched his cherubim face and held the light upon it

Deafening were his inaudible lyrics –

One day to be discerned as clear as bells

but perhaps just not by me 

this morning

by, Becca @Allbrandnewin52.blogspot.com

Other Week 32 Newness:

• Red Barn Pickled Asparagus. Mom got this for me (I love pickled asparagus!) while she was here and we were visiting our local Red Barn Farms out in Weston, MO. I paired it with Absolut Peppar and a little Mrs. T's and a sprig of celery :) Basically, a delicious little salad.

• Learned how to align my BOB SUS thanks to my amazing neighbors who fixed it for me (it had been pulling very hard to the left). Basically it was like someone wrapped my sprained ankle. Lifesaver. By the way, having smart, kind, intuitive neighbors who recognize that running outside is your sanity is going on my list of deployment musts.

• Cookies fail! Yes - I am publishing a fail. You cannot substitute Sunbutter for peanut butter in cookie recipes, apparently. If anyone out there has successfully done this, please let me know how you did it.

• Sharkbait #3. Yes. Yep. Youbetcha. I think I traumatize my Betas when I go on vacation. This little guy seems pretty feisty, and I am trying him with no tank heater, this time around. I am pulling for ya, Buddy!

• New workout! The 10-minute body-weight workout (August 2013 issue) from Women's Running Magazine, a great, digital publication has been a wonderful supplement to my runs lately. The body-weight exercises include alternating lateral lunges, squat thrusts, the inchworm, and mountain climbers. The exercises are done for 20 seconds with a 20 second rest in between, for 10 minutes. Love this one!

Week 31: An Old Woman Lives in My Bones

What's New?

Most of Week 31 was spent taking a large, deep, relaxing breath, enjoying the presence of family, who played with, cuddled with, read to, built things with, pretended with, ran with, and chased after their 2.5-year old cousin/nephew/grandson. It was GLORIOUS, my friends. While this, in itself is not new, it had been a year since we made the trek up to see everyone; enough time to get homesick as hell. I never thought I would be one of those people who only saw their family once or twice per year, and I have never quite become used to it. One day, I will be back, and until then, there is a whole wide world to explore, scattering pieces of my glow-in-the-dark heart as I go.  

Week 31 newness:

• Pinchknitter Yarn! My family lives in the Camano/Stanwood, WA area, and I just now noticed this sweet little specialty yarn shoppe in Stanwood! I spoke with June for a while about their products, and she explained why bamboo textiles are actually horrible for the environment, while hemp is truly environmentally friendly. They have a TON of alpaca wool and a beautiful assortment of wool in general. I can't wait to visit this place in November when we return!

• Gooseberry Patch Freezer Recipes - I am LOVING this life-changing compilation of the art and science of freezing food. The recipes are quite fattening, I won't lie, but for whatever reason, I lose and maintain my weight MUCH easier when I eat 2-3 hearty "meat-and-potatoes" meals a day rather than snacking all day on low-calorie stuff. Casseroles and hearty stews? There goes 5 lbs. No joke. And eating this way enables me to run to my heart's content without becoming anemic or waking up at night with dumb leg cramps. There is your weight-loss lesson of the day. The bestest part about this little book though are the little tips and explanations about proper freeze/thaw techniques. A deployment MUST.      

• BABY!! SIL #3, Whitney, will soon be poppin' out a brand-new baby bee, and we very much enjoyed spending time with this new-momma-to-be at her shower. She is one hard-working woman, and we love her like crazy.

• New art (here are some photos of the new art mom brought last week). "Housetree" by Swedish artist, Mattias Adolfsson. I love his creatures and sketches as much as Hayao Miyazaki's.  

new art

Specialty yarn shoppes and and freezer recipes, goodness gracious, you'd think an 80-year old woman wrote this post! Well, maybe she did. So, in honor of all of our inner old souls, here is new poem:

An old woman lives in my bones.

She smacks her lips and clinks

her teeth against glass jars of whiskey.

Sipping, slurping, rocking.

Creaky wooden chair of 

cracks and fissures,

Rivers of time,

mapping the loves of her soul.

She clicks her tongue with closed eyes

and listens to 

the treefrog chorus.

By, Becca @Allbrandnewin52.blogspot.ccom

Week 24: A Galaxy, A Smoothie, and A Toddler

what's new?

We spent week 24 in the company of our fabulous friends, the Morrows, who were staying with us for a week before they moved to their next Post. We have grown quite close over the last year, and I gave them my whole heart, and they gave me several solar systems, in return. Sometimes, when you allow yourself to be truly vulnerable in friendships, you get stung, but other times, you get a galaxy :) And so, there seems no other passage more befitting than One Art, by Elizabeth Bishop:

 The art of losing isn't hard to master;
 so many things seem filled with the intent
 to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

 Lose something every day.  Accept the fluster
 of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
 The art of losing isn't hard to master.

 Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
 places, and names, and where it was you meant
 to travel.  None of these will bring disaster.

 I lost my mother's watch.  And look! my last, or
 next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
 The art of losing isn't hard to master.

 I lost two cities, lovely ones.  And, vaster,
 some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
 I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

 ---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
 I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident
 the art of losing's not too hard to master
 though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

New things we tried in Week 24:

• Scooter's Blend Coffee (a medium roast/blend). I liked it - very deeply roasted and nutty flavor overall. Still not better than my favorite, but better than many. An easy drinking coffee that you can get at the drive-thru in a pinch if you don't want to make a special grocery store trip just for coffee.

• New deployment book for kids - Lily Hates Goodbyes. This book received the utmost praise from critics and reviewers, buuuut...I was not a fan, simply for the reason that "Lily hates goodbyes" is repeated on almost every page, despite the creative and wonderful things she is doing throughout the story. I don't like the idea of harping on hating something and continuing to whine about it. Say it once, get over it, and move on. Tough baloney, Lily. C'mon. 

• Red Barn Farms Country Market (Weston, MO). I LOVE the town of Weston (about 20 minutes east of Fort Leavenworth), and though we have visited many of the local farms around here, have never made it to Red Barn! They have the cutest little country store - I highly recommend paying them a visit, should you venture out this way.

• The Farmhouse (Kansas City, MO). Beautiful farm-to-table restaurant downtown, near City Market. Our dear friends treated us to this great find, complete with lovely outdoor seating and delicious wine and appetizers before the beginnings of a toddler meltdown occurred (mine) and we said goodbye. It happens...We will be back. They have Black Butte Porter ON TAP :)  

• Green Smoothie Revolution (by, Victoria Boutenko). This book was given to to me to read by my neighbor, after chatting about rebuilding immunity from being sick/taking antibiotics. Her exact words were, "This book will rock your World.". I (wildly) concur and recommend to just about anyone. I learned quite a it about the overall digestion of green vegetables in general from this book. As a Colitis patient, I also learned some valuable tips for the absorption of the vitamins and minerals from veggies, but even if you learn nothing, this particular recipe feels really good on your tummy. I love parsley. It is highly underrated. We will alternate the types of greens we use (to avoid alkaloid absorption) every other week, but here is this week's smoothie recipe, which I modified (the original called for dates and only one lemon, and I prefer the piney-citrusy flavor of the parsley and didn't want it that sweet, so I opted for unsweetened berries):

2 cups parsley

1 Fuji apple (we used whatever)

1/2 cup frozen blueberry/raspberries

lemon juice from 2 squeezed lemons

a little bit of water to make my cheapo blender turn

This will be enough for a couple of days - make sure to store in glass, not plastic, which will leach nutrients

Week 13: A New Poem, Friend Dating and the No Nap Zone

New in Week 13? First, some new poetry:

little, muddy shoes lay strewn across 
the kitchen floor like sleeping kittens
whose bellies bulge from too much milk.
when they wake, clods of dirt will
my shadow, be.
I am grounded by it - the sound
of pitter-patter 
-Becca, 2013 (allbrandnewin52.blogspot.com)

There are many new things to report on this week. First, I might as well tell you all that we are dating again, and it is going very well! Henry and I have met some keepers :) Yep, back in the saddle, as they say. You think friend dating is different than romantic dating? Think again. It is a natural part of life if you ever relocate, start or end a job, quit drinking, start drinking, get married or divorced, have kids, or experience any other major change of life, it seems. And friend dating now, I am more picky; I know what I want. I love being sociable, but not to the point where I will just hang out with anyone because they are a warm body. I have recently realized that I want the same thing that I wanted when I met my Husband: A bonafide, normal person without hangups, who doesn't try to one-up you but who, instead, makes you want to be a better person in some way. Negative people, victims, drama queens, multiple personality disorder...you need not apply. I was talking to M about this the other day, and she also brought up the good point that how they treat/discipline their own kids becomes a factor - So true. I have a large amount of respect for moms who correct their children in public places - Moms who are paying attention and not just letting their kids run rampant through the streets, screaming their heads off at 1am...ahem...

I have the best collection of friends a person could ask for, but it is nice to have in-the-flesh folks who you can go on a walk with or saunter into their house and their dog attack-licks you and coffee is ready in a steaming mug of hello how are you and no one blinks twice about the fact that the kids are still in their pajamas at 2pm. And those are the rare ones (or the ones who have moved/are soon-to-be moving, booo!).    

Week 13 represents the 25% milestone! Yes, friends, we are a quarter of the way through 52 :) Here are the new things we did to celebrate:  

• went on a blind friend date and loved both mom and sons

• went to a new playgroup at a new library outside of town

• tried 3 new recipes (red lentil curry, orzo salad, and stuffed cherry tomatoes), all of which I would make again, though I have decided lentils are never as good as they are the second day. Fact.

• went to a new local farm to buy fresh goat milk (Screamin' Oaks in Tonganoxie)

• tried a new mom and pop cafe with blueberry pancakes as big as your head (Mirth Cafe Too) 

• experienced a snow-storm in mid-March

• began 2 new crochet projects, one of which is for ME (a big-time first!!!)

• treated myself to a new pair of DKNY Bermuda skinny shorts, my wardrobe for spring :)

• Henry decided to give up napping. This may be a phase or a new routine, but for the past 2 weeks, he has only gone down a couple of times. He lays in his room and reads his books for about 45 minutes and then gets up. He also is sleeping much longer at night, so I really have nothing to complain about. But I'd be lying if I said this was not an initial shock to the system (in week 13, mommy drank a LOT of wine...)

• tried a new beer! Sofie Belgian Ale 2012 (thank you, M!) It was citrus, honey-cream, and very ripe banana, which was not overpowering due to the very strong, tangy lime overtones. I thought it was good by itself and would have it again.  

• We received a very sweet Easter care package from Daddy this week...complete with Chuck the Truck stickerbook, a steamroller playdough set, and Godiva chocolates :) Best package ever.