Week 52: Sight

My Mom has been incredibly blessed with the gift of sight in most all forms of art, but especially when it comes to the art of poetry. I always receive the most beautiful pieces from her. Some, from well-known greats, and others from the most obscure, off-the-wall sources. And one of my favorite things happens to be finding the beauty within obscure, off-the-wall sources :) 

Apparently, God matched us well, mother and daughter :)

This Christmas, she sent a compilation by contemporary American poet, W.S. Merwin, called, The Rain in the Trees. I happened upon one of the most stirring, lovely pieces within this collection. The poem, Sight, perfectly sums up my own compilation of these past 52 weeks of life. I have often looked at my son and wondered if God sent him to me so that I would have sight. I wonder (because I cannot recall) if I had it before he came into my life. Did I see? How could I have? Because the moment that a mere fertilized mass of cells attached itself within in my uterus was the moment that I first saw. 

And in these 52 weeks, I have seen much light. Thank you to all of you who have shone so brightly for us on this journey. May your coming 52 weeks be blessed and inspired.

Sight
-W.S. Merwin

Once
a single cell
found that it was full of light
and for the first time there was seeing

when
I was a bird
I could see where the stars had turned
and I sent out on my journey

high
in the head of a mountain goat
I could see across a valley
under the shining trees something moving

deep 
in the green sea
I saw two sides of the water
and swam between them

I 
look at you
in the first light of the morning
for as long as I can     

Week 51: The Missing Piece

What's New?

Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking; 

you have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits.

-Cindy Ross, explorer/author

In Week 51, we welcomed home our other third from a long journey. We give thanks for his safe return, first and foremost. But at the end of this year's story, the real take-home message is that no one will ever know the love that this man has for his Country better than Henry and I. He would freely give of himself and of his gifts to give others a safe passage, and I, selfishly, would hoard him in my mountain cave, if it were up to me. Thanks be to God, it is not.

We have all "grown outside of our puzzle", and truth be told, we have no desire to fit there anyway :) Week 51 was less about trying new things and more about letting it all go. Our brains are decompressing, and our hands are holding tight to one another. We wake up each morning knowing that we are all present and accounted for, and that we do not have to endure yet another day of trying to fill the missing piece with duct tape and super glue. 

Thanks to all of you who supported us on this journey. You will never know how much you are appreciated or necessary.   

Week 44: With and Without Time

What's new?

Week 44 was a memorable one, for so many reasons. I was racing against the clock, trying to get my Mom's blanket finished before we flew up to Washington. This project has been in the works for a while, evolving and growing with and without time, just like my Momma always did, in my eyes. I suppose it knew all along who it would be created for, which explains why it was such a cantankerous creature and why Amma's Grandson was suddenly so angelic all week long so I could finish it :) One morning, during the finishing process, I woke up at 4:30 and turned on AMC, and low and behold, The Grapes of Wrath was on! I had never seen this movie, and I was particularly excited to watch it because that is the next book on my pile. BEAUTIFUL story and well-done movie - I highly recommend seeing it, if you have not. Henry and I got up to my parents' house the day before Halloween, and I was so excited to take him trick-or-treating for the first time with some of the cousins. These little boys were so cute :) Henry dressed up as Curious George, and I was The Man With The Yellow Hat. However, we were still playing catch-up with the timezone change, and we passed out just as the festivities were getting underway! Next year...

The best treat of all was the arrival of my newest Nephew, baby Miles, on Halloween morning. My Sister-in-Law, Whitney was blessed with what was one of the easiest birthing stories I have ever heard (17 minutes of labor). It has been such an amazing feeling, seeing each of my 3 brothers bring sweet sons into the World, but seeing my babiest brother with his new youngling was a particularly memorable moment for this big sister.  

My Mom sent this blog to me a while back created by this writer who had collected a bunch of poems related to knitting and writing. The two for me are quite a similar process. I found this beautiful poem in her collection, though she did not have the complete piece on her blog, for some reason. At first, I read this and pictured an old woman, knitting because she had to knit as much as she had to breathe. Then you realize that she is not necessarily talking about her death, but Death as a facet of time. A memorable and inspirational find, and how appropriate as we celebrate new life, to reflect upon.

The Knitter 

By, Jackie Kay

I knit to keep death away

For hame will dae me.

On a day like this the fine mist

Is a dropped stitch across the sky.

I knit to hold a good yarn

For stories bide with me

On a night like this, by the peat fire;

I like a story with a herringbone twist.

But a yarn aye slips through your fingers.

And my small heart has shrunk with years.

I couldn’t measure the gravits, the gloves, the mittens,

The jerseys, the cuffs, the hose, the caps,

The cowls, the cravats, the cardigans,

The hems and facings over the years.

Beyond the sea wall, the waves unfurl.

I knitted through the wee stitched hours.

I knitted till my eyes filled with tears,

Till the dark sky filled with colour.

Every spare moment. Time was a ball of wool.

I knitted to keep my croft; knitted to save my life.

When my man was out at sea; I knitted the fishbone.

Three to the door, three to the fire.

The more I could knit; the more we could eat.

I knitted to mend my broken heart

When the sea took my man away, and by day

I knitted to keep the memories at bay.

I knitted my borders by the light of the fire

When the full moon in the sky was a fresh ball of yarn.

I knitted to begin again: Lay on, sweerie geng.

Takkin my makkin everywhere I gang.

Een and een. Twin pins. My good head.

A whole life of casting on, casting off

Like the North sea. I watch wave after wave,

plain and purl, casting on, casting off.

I watch the ferries coming back, going away.

Time is a loop stitch. I knit to keep death away.

Week 24: A Galaxy, A Smoothie, and A Toddler

what's new?

We spent week 24 in the company of our fabulous friends, the Morrows, who were staying with us for a week before they moved to their next Post. We have grown quite close over the last year, and I gave them my whole heart, and they gave me several solar systems, in return. Sometimes, when you allow yourself to be truly vulnerable in friendships, you get stung, but other times, you get a galaxy :) And so, there seems no other passage more befitting than One Art, by Elizabeth Bishop:

 The art of losing isn't hard to master;
 so many things seem filled with the intent
 to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

 Lose something every day.  Accept the fluster
 of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
 The art of losing isn't hard to master.

 Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
 places, and names, and where it was you meant
 to travel.  None of these will bring disaster.

 I lost my mother's watch.  And look! my last, or
 next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
 The art of losing isn't hard to master.

 I lost two cities, lovely ones.  And, vaster,
 some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
 I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

 ---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
 I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident
 the art of losing's not too hard to master
 though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

New things we tried in Week 24:

• Scooter's Blend Coffee (a medium roast/blend). I liked it - very deeply roasted and nutty flavor overall. Still not better than my favorite, but better than many. An easy drinking coffee that you can get at the drive-thru in a pinch if you don't want to make a special grocery store trip just for coffee.

• New deployment book for kids - Lily Hates Goodbyes. This book received the utmost praise from critics and reviewers, buuuut...I was not a fan, simply for the reason that "Lily hates goodbyes" is repeated on almost every page, despite the creative and wonderful things she is doing throughout the story. I don't like the idea of harping on hating something and continuing to whine about it. Say it once, get over it, and move on. Tough baloney, Lily. C'mon. 

• Red Barn Farms Country Market (Weston, MO). I LOVE the town of Weston (about 20 minutes east of Fort Leavenworth), and though we have visited many of the local farms around here, have never made it to Red Barn! They have the cutest little country store - I highly recommend paying them a visit, should you venture out this way.

• The Farmhouse (Kansas City, MO). Beautiful farm-to-table restaurant downtown, near City Market. Our dear friends treated us to this great find, complete with lovely outdoor seating and delicious wine and appetizers before the beginnings of a toddler meltdown occurred (mine) and we said goodbye. It happens...We will be back. They have Black Butte Porter ON TAP :)  

• Green Smoothie Revolution (by, Victoria Boutenko). This book was given to to me to read by my neighbor, after chatting about rebuilding immunity from being sick/taking antibiotics. Her exact words were, "This book will rock your World.". I (wildly) concur and recommend to just about anyone. I learned quite a it about the overall digestion of green vegetables in general from this book. As a Colitis patient, I also learned some valuable tips for the absorption of the vitamins and minerals from veggies, but even if you learn nothing, this particular recipe feels really good on your tummy. I love parsley. It is highly underrated. We will alternate the types of greens we use (to avoid alkaloid absorption) every other week, but here is this week's smoothie recipe, which I modified (the original called for dates and only one lemon, and I prefer the piney-citrusy flavor of the parsley and didn't want it that sweet, so I opted for unsweetened berries):

2 cups parsley

1 Fuji apple (we used whatever)

1/2 cup frozen blueberry/raspberries

lemon juice from 2 squeezed lemons

a little bit of water to make my cheapo blender turn

This will be enough for a couple of days - make sure to store in glass, not plastic, which will leach nutrients

Week 21: Tornados, Tiger Tails, and Those We Love

What's New?

In Week 21, I received a phone call from my Dad asking if we were in our basement. No, I responded, we just got home from a run. Laughter. "There's a tornado watch in effect in your area," he explains. "Yes, Dad. I know. But we ran in between watches." Twenty minutes later, our power was out, and wind gusts were strong enough to throw our neighbors' yard trampolines across Post and to knock a person over. And those are just wind gusts. We experienced our first real tornado watch.

We are relatively prepared for minor things such as power outages in our area, and for this, I am thankful. Flashlights, candles, propane stove, blankets, changes of clothes and water/food/medicines...We would be okay for a few days. Residents of our area were told to watch the skies for hail and a "greenish" tint. Henry and I made hot cocoa and curled up in a blanket and sent texts back and forth to my Husband and Siblings/Parents. Henry was getting over a quick but nasty flu virus, and honestly, my worrying had been so great over that incident, that the tornado watch seemed somewhat insignificant in comparison. I just hugged him and smiled at his 2.5-year-old curiosity about what thunder and lightening and flashlights were. 

The next day, we turned on the news to hear and see the tragic outcome of the tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. Feelings of helplessness and grief washed over us all. As insignificant as it may be, here is the link to the Red Cross if anyone reading this feels lead to help out in a small way. 

Hug your loved ones, and maybe even your acquaintances, once in a while.    

Newness for Week 21:

• Tried out Weston Brewery on a momma's-only lunch date with a girlfriend. The Drop-Kick Ale (which I had never tried from there) was delicious, comparable to a nutty amber such as Fat Tire, but better. We enjoyed delicious burgers and spicy fries on the patio - I will definitely be returning! Very kid and family friendly, which is always a plus. 

• Tiger Tail Rolling Muscle Massager! WHY is this just now in my house?! A-MAZING. I have been rolling it over my feet, my ridiculously tight IT bands, and my hip flexors. I basically just want to marry it. 

• Discovery of a great new blog: Silly Eagle Books. The author of this blog is a friend of a dear friend, who recommended this site to me. She reviews children's fiction and discusses related projects that she does with her kids, who are home-schooled. It is not a cheesy crafting site where they paint egg cartons and glue googly eyes onto toilet paper rolls! It is very legit with some meat on its bones, if you know what I'm getting at :) Check it out! You will love it even if you don't have children!

• Guess who came home (for a whole week!) during Week 21?! Our Other Third!! We are sooo excited. We have missed him greatly these past couple of weeks.  

Week 17: Exploring Kansas City with the Mad Ones

In Week 17, we explored some new parts of Kansas City with some very dear Fort Leavenworth friends of ours who happen to be moving way [too] soon. It is a funny concept, time, because one year is not enough time to get to know people you don't initially (really) click with on more than a surface level. Yet for those rare souls of whose intensity Love will only ever partially satisfy (the ones you seem to know immediately), one year is but a blink of an eye or a thousand years, you know? Like either way, the concept of a year is pretty meaningless. 

These friends are of the latter sort - The ones you'd still be friends with even if Facebook wasn't around after they moved to create the illusion that you are somehow going to be friends for life :)

I promise I have not even had a single glass of wine while writing this. In case you're wondering.

 “the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”
 -Jack Kerouac, On the Road

City Market

This place is an outdoor market that has been around since the 1920's, in the style of my beloved Pike's Place Market in Seattle. Though nobody was throwing fish, we still enjoyed a fresh cup of coffee and a good chat with the owners from City Market Coffeehouse. I bought black jelly beans from Plantars Seed Co Herbs and Spices, watched the giant riverboat wheel spin at the Riverboat Museum, enjoyed yummy gyro meat and hummus from a Mediterranean cafe, and best of all, bought cumin and anise for $1 a scoop from the Arabic Market. Amazing find and a wonderful day out with JUST mommas :) We need some more of those. I look forward to heading back down here when the weather is a bit warmer and all of the vendors are out!

Sea Life Aquarium

I would recommend this as the perfect weekday place for kids 5 and under. Henry went with his 2 best buddies, and I think they all had a marvelous time, but it is small, and I would definitely not recommend ever going on a crowded day! We were so lucky to have experienced this with only a few other families and one school group on a weekday! The whole thing takes only about 30 to get through, and I highly recommend getting your tickets in advance, online, rather than at the door. Not only do you save $4, but you actually have a chance of getting in. I am so glad we finally did this and that Henry is at an age where we don't (usually) need the stroller anymore. Pretty good find...just plan accordingly :) 

Week 12: Precious Life

“It is nothing to die. It is frightful not to live.” 

-Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

In Week 12, we experienced many new things, among which was some very happy news! First, Ted and I found out that one of our very closest friends suffered from a bi pulmonary embolism comprised of several blood clots in the lungs. He originally thought he was having a heart attack because the symptoms were essentially the same, so he thankfully called 911 in time. This man is in his mid 30's, does not drink or eat junkfood, is a former gymnast, for goodness' sake, and does not otherwise fit the bill for this condition at all. I was obviously so happy to hear he was okay and well-taken care of, but the thought crossed my mind that, if this man had not made it, he would have lived a very full and purpose-driven life; one that he should be proud of. And the older and more grouchy and cantankerous I become, the more I realize that I don't want to be close to people who I am not truly proud of. Who has time? Vince, if you are reading this, Ted and I love you, and friend, we are damn proud of you.

How do you spend your numbered days? Are you proud of them? Do you think God is proud of them?

We also received the news that my baby brother (Brother #3) and his wife are expecting their first child! Could this be the 7th boy, or will we finally have a little girl in the family? I can't wait to find out! Will and Whitney are going to make excellent parents. 

Other new things to report for Week 12:

• I finished East of Eden and began a non-fiction (memoir): Reading Lolita in Tehran. I am inhaling every word like a crack addict. Not only does Nafasi write BEAUTIFULLY, but if ever words had meaning, this compilation is indeed a powerful source of it! Regarding East of Eden, I loved it and am so glad I read it, but I was not crazy about the way he ended it. I guess it had to end, sometime. Perhaps I just don't like endings.

• Henry and I went to the Crayola store in downtown Kansas City. It was so much fun! We got some new triangle crayons with 24 colors (not the huge, chunky box of 4 colors you see at the store). Henry loves it when I color pictures of the Thomas the Train characters. Luckily, trains are easy :) I am otherwise a terrible artist! One day, he'll realize that :)

• My 2-year old actually, willingly, tried a "new" fruit, ate the whole thing, and asked for more. This is HUGE because at 12 months old up until now, he started refusing any food with a slimy or wet texture. He has only willingly eaten bananas, raisins, and apple slices (but rarely apple slices). I continued to offer him fresh fruits (and veggies) the entire last year, which I am now glad of!

• Henry also has started sharing with me. He is NOT a good sharer at all, so this was awesome to see. And he shared his stickers, no less. Pretty big time :) He's getting so grown-up! 

• Okay, one more new Henry thing and I'll stop: Naps...He has started not taking one 1-2 days per week. On those days, he sleeps for like 11-12 straight hours and wakes up a very happy boy, so I don't mind (too much).